Things I often hear as a male florist.

I make my own deliveries, and in many cases, the recipient would tell me to tell the florist, "The flowers are amazing!" I just laugh and know that when they go to my website, they will see my face as the florist they just complimented.

This led to me making a bit of a list - Funny Things Said to Male Florists

Floristry is often perceived as a delicate, often feminine profession, filled with vibrant blooms, intricate arrangements, and a soothing aesthetic. However, male florists, like their female counterparts, bring their unique flair, creativity, and sometimes, hilarious moments that leave clients and colleagues alike chuckling. Over the years, I’ve heard many funny stories and comments directed at male florists, highlighting the amusing misconceptions and playful banter that surround this blossoming profession. Here’s a collection of some of the funniest things said to male florists, showcasing their good humour and resilience.

The Classic Misconception: "Are You Sure You're a Florist?"

One of the most common remarks male florists encounter is scepticism about their profession. Clients often look confused, glance at the lush bouquets, and then ask, “Are you sure you’re a florist?” or “You do realise this is a female-dominated industry, right?” Male florists have sometimes responded with a grin, “Absolutely! I’ve got the thorns and all.” It's a gentle reminder that societal stereotypes can be persistent, but a good sense of humour can turn these moments into light-hearted interactions.

"Do You Arrange Flowers That Smell Like Bad Bachelors?"

A humorous joke often thrown at male florists, especially during Valentine’s season, is about their ability to create “romantic” bouquets. Someone once asked, “Can you make a bouquet that smells like a bad bachelor’s apartment? We share great memories of our humble beginnings in such an apartment.” This playful jab plays on stereotypes about men not being as attentive to romantic gestures, but male florists often reply with a smile, “Yes, and I can even throw in some stale pizza slices for good measure!”

The “Are You Sure This Isn’t a Hobby?” Comment

Clients sometimes doubt the professionalism of male florists, asking, “Is this just a hobby you’re pretending is a career?” The humour lies in how serious and passionate most male florists are about their craft. The response? A charming, “Nope, I take my flower arrangements more seriously than my fantasy football team,” which always gets a laugh.

"Can You Make a Rose That Lasts Longer Than My Last Relationship?"

Particularly during romantic occasions, clients have joked about the longevity of their floral arrangements and their personal relationships. When someone quips, “Can you make a rose last longer than my last relationship?” male florists have playfully responded, “I’ll do my best, but I can’t guarantee the patience of the flowers or the customers.” These witty exchanges keep the mood light and show that florists are experts not only in flowers but also in handling humorous jabs.

"Do You Do Flower Arrangements for Men Too?"

While many might consider floral arranging an exclusively feminine pursuit, clients often ask if male florists create arrangements for men, such as boutonnieres or gift bouquets. A good-natured reply? “Of course! I even specialise in wildflower arrangements for that rugged, manly look.” This kind of humour challenges stereotypes and highlights that floristry is a versatile art suited for everyone.

The “What Do You Know About Gardening?” Jokes

Some clients, especially those unfamiliar with gardening, ask silly questions like, “Do you even know how to garden, or do you just arrange flowers in a vase?” Male florists often reply with a grin, “I can grow a mean cactus and have a black thumb of steel,” turning the joke back on the misconception that only women are ‘good’ at plants.

The “Can You Make My Ex’s Heart Stop?”

Relationships are often a source of humour for florists. Someone once joked, “Can you make a bouquet so stunning that it makes my ex's heart stop?” A male florist might respond, “I can create something so beautiful, it’ll make even your ex regret leaving you. Or possibly distract her from her breakup for a while.” This playful banter showcases the light-hearted approach to dealing with the emotional side of flower gifting.

The Inappropriate Floral Advice

Sometimes, clients come with amusingly inappropriate requests, like, “Can you make a bouquet that only my wife can see?” or “I need flowers that say ‘I’m sorry I cheated on you, but I still want to stay friends.’” Male florists have often responded with diplomatic humour, “Sure, but I’d recommend a more straightforward apology — these flowers have a pretty strict ‘no hidden messages’ policy.”

"Are You Training to Be a Male Flower Princess?"

A particularly funny and affectionate tease occurs when someone jokingly asks if a male florist is training to become a “flower princess.” The humour is about breaking traditional gender roles, and male florists often reply, “Absolutely, and I take my tiara and petal-picking very seriously.”

Men are such basic creatures, and when it comes to dealing with a male florist, they often are shy and especially reserved with their messages. I often help them out by suggesting adding a kiss. Then there are the lot that needs no assistance. My personal favourite Valentine's message - "No message mate, just draw a hornet with a huge stinger!"